Sex and the single teen Analysis/Commentary Katherine Tarbox, an 18-year-old from New Canaan, Connecticut, recently published a memoir called Katie.com, about growing up in the age of the Internet. She describes, in particular, how a pedophile attempted to molest her when she was fourteen. Though hardly Anne Frank's diary, Katie.com proves straightforward, often well crafted, and doesn't fail to strike a responsive chord. Hasn't everyone felt at one time or another confused about sex and been betrayed in love? In Katie's case, she was woefully misled, very nearly raped, and suffered the social damnation of her community. When she was 13, Katie met a man who called himself "Mark" in an AOL chat room. Since she had trouble sleeping at night, she would pull up the Web and talk to Mark. He seemed everything a little girl could wish for -- a father figure, a friend, a confidant, a mentor, and a future romantic prospect. In the spirit of "when I grow up, I want to marry someone like him," she worked her way deeply into a relationship. The man was actually Frank Kufrovich, a 41-year-old businessman from California with a history of sexual encounters with children. Soon they were talking on the telephone, and even made plans to meet. Katie was flying down to Dallas for a swimming contest, accompanied by her mother and girlfriends. Could they arrange a face-to-face meeting? Kufrovich, with all the rashness of the strangely deluded, booked a room at the hotel where Katie was staying. The rest is judicial history. Katie, dressed only in a shirt, pajama bottoms, and a raincoat, went to Kufrovich's room after telling her girlfriend where she was going. He began to fondle her; Katie's mother knocked on the door, and Katie came out. The police arrived, and the case went to court. In the end, Kufrovich received a sentence of 18 months in jail. The New York Post printed the story under the headline "You Have Jail," but there was nothing very funny about the incident. Katie made the mistake of nurturing pipedreams and of trusting an adult who should have known better than to romance her. While perceptive in many ways -- part of her charm in print -- Katie was totally blinkered with regards to sex. Sex for her, at 14, was something for animals (boys) and was associated in her mind with embarrassment and nakedness. When the shame of "being found in a man's room" was made public, she underwent a whole series of witch trials: peer ostracism, psychological counseling, police and FBI scrutiny, and the humiliation of having to point the finger at a former friend. Still, Katie's sexual innocence was a protection. She could live peacefully in a world of ethical black-and-whites, and not feel compelled to sort out her instincts from her rational beliefs. She never does fess up to whether she came to terms with her closeted view of sex. Maybe that's for the sequel. The Net sets up a new medium for predation, while featuring a world of tantalizing fictions -- a world of Quasimodos and Esmeraldas, of Lion Kings and fairy princesses. If teens, as well as grownups, can enjoy these fictions without taking them at face value, then they are a whole lot safer. Katie's story is also basically about pedophilia -- child molestation -- and deserves reading as a cautionary tale that advocates sexual responsibility. While hardly the object of a crusade for parents and law-and-order zealots, child abuse via the Net deserves to be challenged as a clear and present danger. November 15, 2000